Love Is A Battlefield
by MacGirl2.0
Summary: Love is a battlefield, and Bella Swan has fought more than enough skirmishes to last her a lifetime. Follow her on her journey as she recounts the epic fail known more commonly as her love life. AH/AU No explicit 'adult' scenes, so sorry to those who smuttastic people out there. There may or may not be canon couples, I haven't decided yet. The 'M' rating is due to my potty mouth.
1. Best Friends Forever?

**Stephenie**** Meyer owns Twilight. [Insert other legal stuff here.]**

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**September 1997  
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Emmett McCarthy's demarcated muscles threatened to rupture the sleeves of his worn Run DMC t-shirt as he gripped his Atari controller tighter, becoming obsessively engrosses in the game before us. The concentration ingrained in his facial features and the light sheen of sweat beading on his forehead caused me to imagining him gripping something else with such fervour…

I watch Emmett's mouth move, ignoring the sounds coming out of his mouth. Knowing him, he's probably swearing at the character's in the video game or insulting somebody's mother. It's not until his baby blue's meet my dilated pupils that I realise that he's talking to me.

"Huh?" was my eloquent response.

With a heavy sigh, E tossed his controller onto the couch beside him. "What's up, Bells?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, forcing an expression of innocence to overtake my features.

Emmett quirked an eyebrow, not for a second believing my façade. "You haven't stopped staring at me since we sat down."

I swallowed down the lump in my throat and turned to look my best friend square in the eye. Our whole relationship, from birth until that moment, had been one huge cliché. We had grown up together as brother and sister due to our parents being exceptionally close (as teenagers, we would joke about them attending swinger's parties together). We'd joke and laugh and would rather hang out on weekends playing pranks on Wayland Johnson, an elderly man with the personality of a toothpick who lived down the road, instead of doing our homework. He was there when I went on my first date at fifteen years old, and beat up the douchebag when he dumped me because I would not sleep with him. I was there when, at the age of fourteen, his first girlfriend dumped him because she was jealous of me.

However, it wasn't until Leah appeared that I realised my true feelings.

She had moved to Newcastle from the Central Coast a few months previous. No male at school could resist her charm. She smart, athletic _and_ beautiful – everything a guy could ever hope for.

When Leah and Emmett began dating, I thought she'd eventually get jealous like Em's previous girlfriends and dump him, leaving me to pick up the pieces when she broke his heart. Only, she never did. Once I realised that she wasn't going anywhere, I began to hate her, only I didn't understand why. She was a great person and she was a perfect match for Emmett and always went out of her way to be nice to me, never getting jealous of my relationship with her boyfriend. It was only when Emmett told me they had slept together that I realised why I hated her: I was in love with my best friend.

Since my epiphany, I found myself staring at Emmett when he wasn't looking, gazing wantonly at his muscular body, courtesy of his new-found gym fixation, and strong, handsome features. Gone were my sisterly affections, replaced with an overwhelming urge to wrap my legs around his waist and kiss the crap out of him. I hadn't thought he'd noticed, but apparently I was wrong. Now, it was time to tell him.

"There's something I have to tell you," I began, angling my body toward Emmett's. "I don't know how to say it…" How can you tell the person you grew up with, the person who thinks of you as a sister, that you love him?

I exhaled loudly, scrunching up my eyes and nose, trying to summon all the courage I could. _Like a Band-Aid, Bella. Just tell him, quickly._

Emmett reached over and grasped his hand in mine. "You can tell me anythi–"

"I love you!" I shouted

Emmett pulled me in for a giant bear hug. I nestled my head into his chest, revelling in the warm exuding from his body. "I love you too, B," he said into my hair. "You don't have to be afraid. You can tell me anything, we're family."

A knife stabbed me through the heart. I pushed against his chest, scrambling away from him. "Family?"

"Well, yeah," Emmett's brow furrowed in confusion. "You're like a sister to me."

"Sister?" I asked, incredulously. I was on my feet in an instant, startling Emmett with the swiftness of my movements.

"What is wrong with you today?" Emmett came to a stand also, though he towered over me by a foot.

"Me?" I choked as my anger began to surface. "What's wrong with me?"

Emmett's tone became more agitated. "You're acting like such a…" He stopped speaking mid-sentence, turning his head away with a huff.

"Such a what?" I pressed, shoving his shoulder.

"A girl!" he cried, turning his attention back to me and throwing his arms up in the air.

"Well, guess what?" I screamed. "I am a girl!"

I turned and began to walk toward the front door, but a large pair of hands grabbed my arm and pulled me away from the exit.

"You're not leaving until you tell me what is going on," Emmett demanded with a scowl.

"Nothing." I crossed my arms against my chest and pouted like a petulant child.

"You're too worked up for there to be 'nothing' wrong, now tell me."

Looking him square in the eyes, I mustered a blank expression. "Leah is cheating on you.

Emmett dropped my arm as if I burned him. "You're lying."

"You don't believe me? Your best friend?"

"Best friends don't tell lies about these sorts of things."

"Exactly!" I exclaimed. "So why don't you believe me?"

"Do you have proof?" A small flicker of doubt crossed his face..

"Yes…" I stalled, trying to think of something. "Jake saw her and some guy making out at the cinema the other day."

"Jake? As in Jacob Black? The boy who follows you around like a lost little puppy? The boy who, if you said 'Jump', would reply with 'How high?'"

"Why don't you believe me?" Hurt, angry and betrayal rose inside me.

"Leah loves me. She wouldn't cheat on me."

"So that's it, then? You don't believe me?"

Emmett stayed silent.

"Fine," I whimpered, holding back tears. "I guess I'll go then."

"Bells, wait…"

"No!" I cried. "I love you! I'm the one you should be with!"

"Bells…" E begins. "I love you, but not like that. You're my best friend."

"What if I don't want to be your best friend? What if I want to be your girlfriend?"

A pleading expression comes to rest on Emmett's face. "Please, don't do this…"

"Do what?" I asked. "Tell you how I feel?"

No answer.

"You need to choose, Em! Me or her?"

_Choose me, choose me, choose me_, I begged silently.

An expression crossed between hurt and anger overcame Emmett's face. He walked over to me and a small bubble of hope began to rise in my chest. A bubble that popped the instant Emmett opened the front door and stood stoically, gesturing for me to leave. "Goodbye, Isabella."

A sob escaped my throat at the sound of my real name falling from his lips. He had not ever called me Isabella, opting instead for the nickname my dad established for me as a child.

"Goodbye, Emmett."

My teenage self was heart-broken. For weeks after I left Emmett's house, I was a zombie. My life, it seemed, was over. Looking back now, however, I can see that Emmett McCarthy was the first in a long line of bad romances.


	2. Puppy Love

**Stephenie**** Meyer owns Twilight. [Insert other legal stuff here.]**

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**February 1998**

"I need to pee," I announced before standing up. As I stood, the blood left my brain and flowed through the rest of my body. I had been sitting for far too long. I placed my red solo sup on the table in front of Jake and grasped the solid wood in order to steady myself. I knew that as soon as I left he'd drink it, but I had had enough alcohol for the night. If I had any more, I was sure to make a fool of myself.

"Thank you for that completely necessary piece of information," Jake joked.

I rolled my eyes at both his sarcasm and his drunkenness, his words were slurred and he wreaked beer, vodka and cigarettes. He was going to have hell of a hangover in the morning.

As I maneuverer through the throng of inebriated teenagers to get to the bathroom, I noticed the extensive line-up of people waiting to use the toilet. Huffing in exasperation, I explored the first level of Amy Marks' three-storey house. I almost vomited when I passed Leah giggling and kissing Emmett's neck. Eventually, I found the staircase to the next floor and climbed it, ignoring the poorly crafted signs saying 'DO NOT GO UPSTAIRS'. Even in my intoxicated state, I was smart enough to know that there was surely a bathroom up there.

I opened the first door, seeing a pink bedroom decorated with a Disney Princess theme. I concluded that Amy had a younger sister until I saw the letters 'A', 'M' and 'Y' hanging above the bed in pink sparkling blocks.

A small chuckle escaped my mouth as I went to shut the door. Before the door clicked to a close, a heavy boot stoppered it and pair of arms circled around my waist. Wet lips started kissing down my neck.

"I've been waiting to get you alone all night," Jake cooed in my ear. Bile rose in my throat.

"As if," I scoffed as I attempted to twist away from him. "What is wrong with you, Jacob?"

Jake's embrace grew tighter the more I struggled. "I know you want me, Bells." He pulled me closer to his body so that I could feel his disgusting erection nestled against my lower back.

An image of Emmett flooded into my mind at the sound of my old nickname. That made me all the angrier. My elbow came up and crashed down into Jake's ribs. Shocked and drunk, Jake stumbled backward. Lifting my foot, I kicked Jake in the nuts as hard as I could. With a strangled cry, Jake fell to the ground, cupping his groin.

"Don't call me that," I spat.

As I turned to walk back down the stairs, Amy came up. She looked at her partially opened door then at me and shot me a look of disgust.

"Did you not read the sign?" she asked. "What part of 'DO NOT GO UPSTAIRS' did you not understand?"

I rolled me eyes. "Sorry, Your Highness."

The next Monday, rumours of me losing my virginity to Jacob Black circulated the school. Jake and I never spoke to one another again – not that he didn't try – and I was left friendless on the first day of my last year of high school.


	3. Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy

**Stephenie**** Meyer owns Twilight. [Insert other legal stuff here.]**

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**July-November, 1998**

Many people would say that moving to a different school halfway through Year 12 is a stupid thing to do. There was the tremendous trouble of meeting new people and the scouring search to find a tightly knit cliché, most of which were established six years ago, in which to fit in. Not to mention the mix-and-matching of subjects and timetables, and introductions to new criteria that you may or may not have previously studied. And what was the point of spending a bunch of money on a whole new uniform when you'll only wear it for a few months before giving it away to a charity store like St Vincent de Paul.

Jasper Whitlock, however, was not like other people.

Jasper moved from a farm residing eight hours south-west of Macquarie and from a combined central school of 200 students. He was quite attractive with a dark tan and blonde hair. I could tell he was at least part Indigenous by the shape of his nose and his deep, rich brown eyes. Rumour had it that Jasper killed a man, but I had a tough time believing that. From the moment he sat next to me in Chemistry (our other classmates avoided him like the plague, afraid of being stabbed or something) I knew that Jasper was a great guy.

"I don't believe the rumours about you," I said a few days later. We were sitting by the lake and I was eating my lunch while Jasper smoked his cigarette. (The school banned students from exiting the school premise during school hours, yet they never bothered to patch the hole in the wire fence down behind the library that separated the school grounds from the foreshore of Lake Macquarie.)

Jasper merely stared at me. I wasn't sure if he was uncomfortable with talking about the rumours in general or just with me. I grew agitated under his gaze, and began picking imaginary lint of my black stockings and smoothed down the front of my nicely ironed navy skirt.

Finally he spoke. "I didn't kill him."

"I never thought that you did," I smiled.

"I almost killed him, though."

My smile vanished. "I'm sure you had a reason..." I began to fidget with a loose thread in my white button-up in nervousness.

"He slept with my girlfriend," Jasper explained. "He was my best friend and he slept with my girl." I could see the anger in his eyes as he spoke. "I caught them one night when I went over to see her. Her dad hated me so I snuck through her bedroom window."

Jasper paused to take last drag of his cigarette before throwing it carelessly in the water. I was too engrossed in his story to bother nagging him about the negative environmental damage his cigarette could do to underwater life.

"I punched him," Jasper continued. "I punched him over and over again. I could hear Lottie screaming in the background but all I saw was red. I hated him. I hated her. But my mother taught to respect women, so I hit him harder, hoping that she'd feel some of his pain."

A shaky sigh escaped Jasper as he paused again. "Pete was still recovering in the hospital when I left to come here. He didn't want to press charges, but I think that's only because he felt guilty. Charlotte's father had been the one to pull me off Pete and refused to let his daughter near either one of us."

"Is that why you came here?" I asked. "To get away from Charlotte and Pete?"

Jasper nodded. "My mum thought it would be for the best. A new town. A new start. So she sent me up here to live with my Aunt Maria."

"Well," I began. "I am very glad that you came up here, regardless of the circumstances."

I was rewarded with a bright smile from Jasper. After this insight into Jasper's previous life, I began to feel closer to him – our best friends, and the women that caught them under their wicked spell, had betrayed us both. With him, the part of me that disappeared with Emmett, resurfaced again.

It felt amazing, after six months of exclusion, to finally have somebody who was mine again. Each day, I became for and more captivated by Jasper. He was intelligent and could hold a conversation that wasn't about football or girls. We talked about everything. Well, everything except my enthrallment in him.

We were sitting on his bed, studying for our HSC Trail Examinations while his Aunt Maria had gone out clubbing to catch her flavour of the month, when suddenly kissed me.

When he broke away from my lips, he brushed a stray hair behind my ear and leant his forehead against my own. My breath came out in pants and my heart rate was skyrocketing. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. Forcefully, I brought him impossibly closer and latched my mouth onto his and, like a parasite, greedily sucked on his juicy bottom lip.

He was intoxicating.

All of our study sessions, from then on out, ended with kissing and, as our relationship progressed, heavy petting. My first orgasm was due to Jasper's talented fingers. Each time we would meet after our Trial Exams were finished, it was always at Jasper's house, and only when his aunt had gone. I could tell that Jasper wanted to our relationship to progress to actually intercourse, but I wasn't ready. Each time I would stop him from going any further, he'd getting angry and say, "Maybe you should go now, Bella."

On the night of our Graduation ceremony, Jasper took me out to dinner (our first real date) at a nice Italian restaurant called _Bella Italia._ He made me feel beautiful and wanted. I actually saw him smile and laugh for the first time since before our Trail Exams. That's when I knew. I was tired of seeing Jasper angry and frustrated. I wanted to make him happy.

We slept together that night. It was rushed, but nice. When I returned home that night, I cried myself to sleep. The tears just kept falling, but I didn't know why. Did I regret sleeping with Jasper? No! I loved Jasper… Right? Of course I did! I wouldn't lose my virginity to someone who I didn't love. I wasn't one of those girls… Was I?

The next morning I pushed all the negative thoughts from the previous night out of my head. We slept together a few more times after that, including the celebratory birthday sex in September, of which I was quite fond. However, as our HSC exams began, I didn't see Jasper as much. I understood that because we had no similar classes, apart from Chemistry.

I called Jasper's house, asking him if he wanted to study together like we usually did right before a Chemistry exam or assessment task. He didn't reply to any of my calls.

I thought I'd corner him on the day of the exam, but he got to the hall just as the supervisors began handing out our papers. Jasper was in the isle to my right and three chairs down from where I was situated, giving me the perfect view of the right side of his profile. Three-quarters of the way through the exam, I heard a chair scrap along the hardwood panels and in my peripheral, saw Jasper's hand raise in the air, signalling that he had finished his paper. I looked down at my own paper. I only had the multiple-choice questions left. I hurriedly coloured in random answers and raised my own hand as well. One of the supervisors came over to me and checked my paper before telling me I could exit the hall.

I scrambled out of my chair, grabbed my pens off my desk, and flew out of the hall. I hoped that I hadn't missed Jasper, who had only just left.

Seeing a familiar head of blonde locks, I called Jasper's name. I saw his whole body tense at the sound of my voice and, somewhat reluctantly, he turned around. I ran over to him, gasping for breath.

"You haven't been avoiding me, have you?" I asked.

Jasper sighed. "Look Bella," he began. "What we had… It was fun while it lasted, but that's all it was. A bit of fun."

My heart sank and my lungs constricted, making it hard for me to breathe. "Fun?"

Jasper shrugged. "I was frustrated. I hadn't had sex in months!"

My eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"With you going to university next year and me going back to the farm, did you honestly think we were going to work out?" Jasper asked.

"You're going back to the farm?"

Jasper gave me the 'Well, duh' look. "Did you think that I was going to stay here?" he asked incredulously. "I hate it here! You know I do."

I knew that he missed his mum and the farm, but I thought he'd stay around for a bit longer.

"So that's it?" I asked. "What we had meant nothing to you? You were never in love with me?"

"Love?" Jasper cried. "I'm still in love with Charlotte, why would I be in love with you?"

As that last word sprang from his mouth, my hand came up and connected with the side of his face. The sound of the hall door opening and closing and the murmurs of our classmates were the only thing I could hear as I stepped away from Jasper.

"Fuck you, Jasper!" I screamed as I barged passed him, wrapping my around my stomach, as if I were trying to hold myself together.


End file.
